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Grief Resources

Materials and pamphlets:

A variety of small pamphlets on grieving and grief helping are available in the lobby at Forbes Funeral Home, 319 W. Spruce St., Sturgeon Bay (9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Mon.-Fri.). Materials are free.

Local Support Groups:

The Compassionate Friends Door County’s self-help group for parents and grandparents who have lost a child of any age. Contact Carol Moellenberndt at Door County Memorial Hospital for meeting times and places.

Unity Hospice Grief Support Groups Five week grief support groups offered throughout the year for adults who have experienced the loss of a loved one. Call Lisa or Karen for schedules (743-6440 or 1-800-990-9249).

Door of Hope Monthly Grief Support Group. Meetings are held the second Monday of each month at Immanuel Lutheran Church in Baileys Harbor. For more information or brochure, call Joan at 868-9471. (www.thedoorofhope.webs.com )

Grief Share. Grief share is 13-week grief support group that meets twice a year, February to May and from September to November in the library
of St. Peters Lutheran Church. The sessions consist of video presentations by professional counselors followed by small group discussions and are
open to the public. Contact Bob Johnson at 743-4431, extension 161 for more information.

Websites:

http://bereavement.org

www.grief.net

Counseling Resources:

The following resources are self-identified as providing counseling expertise specific to grief related issues. Their appearance on our web page does not imply a referral, recommendation, or endorsement of their services by our firm.

Counseling Associates of Door County, 743-9554

Door County Dept. of Community Programs, 746-2345

Dr. Dennis White, Clinical Psychologist, 743-1346

Unity Hospice, 743-6440

Rev. John Zeile, 823-2414

Chaplain Joan Carlson, 868-9471

Caring for those who are grieving

Realize that nothing you can do or say can make the hurt go away. There are no perfect words to say so don’t worry about finding the ideal words. Your presence alone at the wake or funeral communicates that you care and is very comforting to the survivors.

Be a good listener. A grieving person needs to talk in order to work through their grief. Talking about their feelings is an excellent release for them. Survivor’s may want to replay the events of the death. Don’t be judgmental about the survivor’s feelings and don’t feel like you should have answers to all of their questions. Just listen and make them feel understood.

Instead of attempting to offer justification or explanation of the death (he’s no longer suffering…God must have needed her), just simply express your sympathy and your true feelings about the situation, (boy, I’m really going to miss him, or I’m so sorry for your loss, or my heart really aches for you).
By doing this you are opening the door for the survivor to express their true feeling and you avoid minimizing or invalidating their feelings.

Send a sympathy card with feelings from your heart, as opposed to a pre-printed one.

Continue to speak of the deceased and share your good memories with the grieving. Conversation need not be limited to the serious. There are times when chatting and laughing about normal things can be helpful.

The journey of grief is long and hard. The process continues long after the funeral is over and the survivor “appears” better. Continue your support for months after the funeral and perhaps up to a year or two.

Offer specific help to the grieving, not vague offers like “let me know if there is anything I can do for you”. Be specific, like “I would like to watch your children on Saturday afternoon for you, or I am going to bring a meal over today”.

Invite the bereaved to regular activities, like going to church, public events, social engagements or just have them over for dinner or desert. Encourage them to resume normal activities like work, church, and recreation, even if the don’t feel like it.